We laugh at your misfortune

Relationship Advice Part 2


So some buddies and I went drinking the other night and the whole cheating whore topic came up again.  Luckily one of my friends had a sidekick so I told them to pull up my relationship advice blog and read it.  I really didn’t feel like explaining why women were whores at a high decibel, especially since we had a few tramps eye balling us within spitting distance.  I may be an ass sometimes, but I’m not dumb.

So my buddies read the article via sidekick and I felt it was time to move on.  My balls weren’t going to lick themselves and I still saw the two tramps giving us glances.  Just as I’m about to head in their direction one of my buddies begins to speak…  He then asked me the most common, yet retarded question of all time.  Every guy asks this question at one point in their life.  The conversation went something like this.

“So I get that all woman are whores but how come they always go for the asshole?”

 Me (in shock) “Are you kidding me right now with that?”

It was time yet again to drop knowledge like a sledgehammer.  I think Dick Masterson said it best when he explained “You can’t be mad at a dog for wagging his tail and knocking over your drink, just like you can’t be mad at a woman for being a woman.”  I’m not sure if that’s the exact quote but its close.  If you scour through his website ( I’m sure you’ll find it.

Back to my point.  The term asshole (when women are describing guys) is short for “the guy that doesn’t pay attention to me”.  If I were to follow a girl around spitting in her face, then yes I would be a true asshole.  However, if I were to ignore the girl that I was dating (ie: not return a text, phone call, or email) I would not consider myself an asshole.  I would consider myself someone who had something more important to do. 

This is really easy enough for a second grader to understand.  If you do not show a girl attention, she will be more attracted to you.  You don’t have to treat her like dirt, or piss in her face either.  Make time for her on your terms, (like when you want to get laid) not hers (like when she wants to go out for dinner).  Again, this is not being an asshole, its you making time when its convenient for you.

Lets check this out from the flip side.  You give a girl the attention she wants (take her to dinner, buy her things, answer your phone the second she calls).  Quickly she will notice that she gets attention from you whenever she wants it.  This will lead to her becoming bored.  She will then have you by the balls and start chasing after another guy who does not give her the attention that you do.  Do these excuses sound familiar?  Last minute ‘case of the flu’, ‘relative in town’, and ‘extremely tired’ are just another way of her saying “This other guy who never gives me the time of day is actually going to let me come over so he can fuck me silly”.

I’ve grown fond of drawing graphs in paint, so I made another one.dumbchicks.jpg

As shown in the figure above:  When the black line that demonstrates attention begins to raise, you will see the interest from the female begin to fall.

Yea it sucks, deal with it.  Learn to give less attention and you will go from the chaser to being chased.  When you think its time to drop guard, don’t.  Women don’t use logic.  You don’t have to name call or get pissed.  Just feel sorry for them and their inferior ability to determine whats good. 

You’re welcome.

Side note:  I really need to stop giving these motivational speeches when I’m trying to pull girls.  It gets the guys far too amped up, and they will become cock blocks by accident.


April 3, 2008 - Posted by | Regretful's Blog | , , , ,


  1. I hope chicks don’t read this. You’re putting my years of trial & error in jeopardy by revealing trade secrets.

    Comment by .45 | April 3, 2008 | Reply

  2. thankfully women could be told every single manly secret, yet still act the same way.

    Comment by regretfu | April 3, 2008 | Reply

  3. Yeah, you’re right. It’s in the genetic coding.

    Comment by .45 | April 4, 2008 | Reply

  4. “My balls weren’t going to lick themselves[…]”

    If I had a dime for every time my boyfriend said that to me, I swear to God..

    Comment by Politically Blonde | April 4, 2008 | Reply

  5. I only give dimes if you follow through 🙂

    Comment by regretfu | April 6, 2008 | Reply

  6. the whole asshole explanation makes perfect sense. btw, the graph is awesome

    Comment by little enchilada | April 30, 2008 | Reply

  7. I help out when I can!

    Comment by regretfu | April 30, 2008 | Reply

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