We laugh at your misfortune

Fat drunk chicks can make a boring night fun

Our favorite bar was packed, it was after 12am, and we wanted to drink.  We made a judgement call to try the place next door.  Dan grabs us a table right near the entrance and we proceed to get wasted.  I’m thinking to myself this will probably be an uneventful Friday night…then I see “her”.

Some chick dressed in a 70’s outfit is stumbling, dancing, and making out with every single thing that she barrels in to.  Maybe this new bar wasn’t such a bad idea!

What is it about alcohol that makes fat, rhythmless chicks think they can dance?   I took some quick cell phone footage of her dancing in the entrance.  A small line had formed outside, but no one had the balls to push her out of the way.

Drunk Chick – Watch more free videos

Events that take place after this: 

Dan and I convince fat chick to make out with Adam.  We tell Adam that the girl he just kissed has STD’s, and made out with 7 guys before him.  Adam panics and begins washing his mouth out with shots of Vodka.  Tori gives stalker guy her phone number.  We get Adam out of the bar when he starts yelling.  Dan pulls Adam away from cab after Adam says “I’ll fucking kill you” for no reason to the driver.  I take Tori home while Dan sits with Adam for a few minutes in the parking lot.  I get home and receive the following text:

From: Adam 

Dude Im playin chicken with thense mosfos!

Apparently Dan felt Adam was OK to drive.  No worries, the following chat session proves he made it home.

[21:47] RegretfulMorn: will u get mad
[21:47] RegretfulMorn: if i write about you kissing that drunk bitch
[21:47] RegretfulMorn: on regretful morning
[21:48] Adam: Lol
[21:48] Adam: Don’t use my name
[21:48] RegretfulMorn: theres a million adams
[21:49] Adam: You don’t change the names?
[21:49] Adam: You gonna make me look bad?
[21:49] RegretfulMorn: I wingman’d that fat piece of shit for you, the least you could do is let me make a post
[21:49] Adam: Lol
[21:50] RegretfulMorn: I’ll take that as a yes, I got some good pics I’ll show you in a min
[21:50] Adam: She wasn’t that fat….she was fuckin drunk tho
[21:51] RegretfulMorn: I didnt add those dimples on her thighs with photoshop

[22:10] Adam: Oh and I have antiseptic mouthwash in my car…when I drove home I gargled and spit in the street
[22:13] RegretfulMorn: hahaha


April 14, 2008 - Posted by | Regretful's Blog | , ,


  1. Amazing how Great they all Look at Closing Time!!


    With Wingmen like U who needs Friendz!!

    Comment by BillyWarhol | April 14, 2008 | Reply

  2. At around 1am, they all look good 🙂

    Comment by regretfu | April 14, 2008 | Reply

  3. Good thing for antiseptic mouthwash. Not only was Adam 2 degrees of mouth with all the guys in the bar, but show me a chick that drunk and I’ll show you one that’s already wretched a couple time too.

    Comment by .45 | April 17, 2008 | Reply

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