Regretfulmorning.com

We laugh at your misfortune

Regretful Submission – The latina who needed hygiene’a

Name: TenX

Age (at the time): Early 20’s

Profession (at the time): DirecTV Rep

Location: So Cal

So I’d just gotten out of school, and still trying to figure out what the hell I was going to use my degree for. Wound up getting a job selling DirecTV (aka the shit sales job). It’s easy, basically, people would call you and ask questions, you’d answer them and proceed to hook them up with the most expensive package known to man. It was commission-based anyway, so besides hooking my friends up with $8.99 single satellite systems,  I’d basically to do my best to make sure you wound up with everything I could sell you. This was particularly easy among females because I have a really deep voice, and when it comes to me eating and you losing money, #1 wins every time.

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May 1, 2008 Posted by | Regretful Stories | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Walk of Shame – The Lingerie Stumble

lingerie1.jpg 

One morning I woke up at the frat house ready to leave, when I realized that all I had on was lingerie (the night before it had been a lingerie party).  Shiiiiiit!  I couldn’t walk home in that.  Mind you I walked to the frat house wearing that (but it was dark and I was drunk) so that doesn’t count. So I wake up the guy I had stayed with and asked him if I could borrow clothes.  He throws me a pair of sweats. So I put them on and head out the door.

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April 29, 2008 Posted by | Walks of Shame | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Walk of Shame – Twins in the Tub

This one is from Megs.  You’re a filthy girl, and I owe you breakfast.

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My roommate and I were dating two guys who were twins.  One night after a football game we all went back to their house for some drinks and hot tubbing.  It was actually their parents house but they were out of town so we decided to make the most of it.

I had no idea that drinking in a hot tub can make you incoherent after about 30 minutes.  My roommate Beth got out after about 45 minutes and her boyfriend Mike followed her.  My boyfriend Justin and I stayed in a bit longer.  He was all over me and I really didn’t know why.  We had already slept together earlier that night, so I was surprised that he was ready to go again…

One thing lead to another and we end up going for it right there in the dark.  I was exhausted so I grabbed my towel and headed inside.  Here’s where things get crazy…

Mike and Justin are identical twins but you can always tell them apart easily (even if you don’t know them) by the clothes they wear.  Justin always walks around in these brown shredded Birkenstocks and Mike is more of a tennis shoe type of guy.  So when I see Beth (who is barely awake) and Mike sitting on opposite ends of the couch I immediately look down. 

You guessed it, I see the Birkenstocks…

Did I just…Yes I did.  Just as I was feeling my gut sink I hear the door open again.

“You owe me 20 bucks bro, she went for it!”

Long story short, Beth and I are no longer dating the twins.  Assholes.

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April 25, 2008 Posted by | Walks of Shame | , , , | 1 Comment

Walk of Shame – The Greek Circle

I’d like to take this time to personally salute another mistress of morning mayham.

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Ok so this frathouse I stayed the night at is in a coldisac area with like 4 others.  So when you leave you walk past all of the other houses… Yeah, you can see where this is going.

So I am leaving one morning, while trying to fix the hair and avoid eye contact with anyone as I walk through Greek circle.

In the morning the guys sit out on the balconies and drink and chat (picture animal house). So I am trying to walk as quickly as possible, when it happens.  I trip over my own flip flop (don’t ask) and fall face first to the ground. Crap! I hear the laughter. So I stand up and try and shake it off. I look down at my now bleeding knees and that’s when I see it. I BROKE MY FLIP FLOP! Fuuuuuck. So I pick it up and hobble, bleeding knees and all, back to my dorm.

April 22, 2008 Posted by | Walks of Shame | , , | Leave a comment

T-shirt Contest by Busted Tees


Busted Tees is going to be giving next months best submission a free tshirt.  All Regretful Stories and Walks of Shame will be in entered into the drawing starting today.  The dead line to get your story submitted by is May 23rd.  If your story wins, you can choose whatever tshirt you want from the Busted Tees store.

 Click on ‘How to Submit’ when you’re ready to get laughed at.

April 18, 2008 Posted by | Announcements | , , , | 4 Comments

Parents Weekend

First submission for the “walk of shame” section 

This one is from Sarah (email me if you don’t want me using your name)

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So my roomie and I go to a house party where we proceed to do many, many keg stands, which renders us unable to drive home.  So we crash the night. The next morning we wake up, get driven home, and dropped off right in the center of the school campus a good 50 yards from our dorm.  So we get out of the car and proceed to walk, now it is important to understand what we look like.

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Our hair is disheveled, are makeup is all smeared, we have no sunglasses on, and we are wearing extremely slutty tops, tight jeans, and high heels.  As we stumble back to our dorms we are trying to cover our eyes because the bright sun is not helping our hangover.  As we walk we notice people pointing and staring.  We also notice that there are A LOT of people on campus for a Saturday morning.  We stumble quicker and get into our dorm where we ask the front desk why there are so many people out and about.

Front Desk: It’s parents weekend.
Me: Of course it is………

April 17, 2008 Posted by | Walks of Shame | , , | 5 Comments